The "Dream" is not for me

When my friends in Manila heard that I was going to the US for two years... the have a common reaction -- "Apply for a US Visa!" or "Go jump ship!"

I usually do not react to what they said. I just give them a smile. Why? Because I don't agree with them. I have dreams... but the American Dream is not for me. Yes, it's a nice place. The Land of Opportunities. Well, maybe for some but not for me.

I have a lot of reasons why I don't want to migrate in the US ---

1. We are second class citizens here. Admit it, we are not Americans.

2. Unless you're an expert, your opinions are not really valued.

3. Everyone is always doing something everytime. All busy. On weekdays... and even on weekends. 25 hours a day 8 days a week. If you need to talk with someone, you'll have a hard time looking for one. I am not surprised why there are a lot of depression cases and suicides here. Support groups are hard to find.

4. F-U-N is different here. I don't see where the fun in getting drunk, or watching someone doing silly things because they're drunk. Reason may be is that I really don't drink.

5. People here are spoiled! If a simple hyperlink on your email woudn't work (and they still can get to the file since the file path is there), they wouldn't do it. Reason? Your link doesn't work.

6. People (in the Philippines) think that money grows on trees. If they ask for something really expensive, they expect to get it. They didn't even realize that the costs here are high too.

I am currently leading the move to another office trailer. I thought its just managing it... but later, I realized that you have to do EVERYTHING yourself including the tissue holder in the toilet!!! And the contractors who will be moving the boxes? I have to keep an eye on them because they're slackers!!! Waste of my time since I can do other stuff rather than just follow them and the boxes. I told one of my co-workers here that I don't have problems in Manila with those kind of workers. He said, "Are you saying that Americans are lazy?" I said, "No, I just said that the contractors are slackers. But if Americans would work in the Philippines, you wouldn't last a month!"

Those are the things at the top of my mind. Sometimes I just get tired of things that I just want to pack up and leave. But, that wouldn't be me. I have a lot of pride to just give up. Don't get me wrong. I am thankful for this opportunity that they gave me. My assignments are good. I just get soooo frustrated. And my housemate is not helping at all.

Amazing...

I don't know if it's just me. But I watched this video several times and it never failed to make me cry.

Plus we rarely see Simon smile so sincerely...


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You know what today is?

Today is July 5, 2007. Its my 365th day here in Pascagoula. You know what? It felt like forever. I guess I should use dog years to count. If I use that, it would be my 10th year here. It sure feels that way.

Anyway, its 158 days till my Christmas vacation.


That is:
3,792 Hours
22,7520 Minutes
13,651,200 Seconds

No, it’s not counted in dog years. Well, I hope not.

My Dream

I was talking to myself this afternoon. Actually talking out loudly (and someone else is hearing this)

"Don't you know that today is just a dream? I am sleeping and today is just a dream. I am dreaming that I am still in June 24, 2007. When I wake up tomorrow, it's already December and I am in my own bed in my own room. Tomorrow, it is December 2007. Everything's a dream."

Talk about insanity.

Can anyone give me a prescription?

HELP!!!

I think I need a break. Signs are showing (again):

1. I cry a lot. Sometimes it is because of what I am watching. Sometimes, I cry while working. Sometimes, if I am singing a sad song. Sometimes, for no reason at all.

2. I don't really want to talk to anybody. I can not talk for a whole day. Mints are a good thing to have.

3. I'd rather stay inside my bedroom than see people (more of a certain person).

4. Normally, I would be the one initiating contact. Now, I don't. I am detaching myself to the world.

Hmm.. I don't think a break would solve that. I need help!!!

Maybe I should call Dr. Suresh. Maybe, I am special I just don't know it. Maybe...

I Love COOKIES!!!!

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 60% Envy: 20% Gluttony: 20% Greed: 20% Lust: 0% Pride: 0% Wrath: 0% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 17% You will get bugs, because you're too lazy to shoo them off. And then you'll die.

How Sinful Are You?

Reality TV

I have been surfing and surfing for hours to find a good show on TV. All the shows that I am watching have ended its season and will be back by fall.

What's with Americans and reality TV? Almost all the channels have new reality TV shows. Let me tell you what I saw on TV just yesterday:

1. America's got Talent - Simon Cowell is one of the producers. Result? American Idol copycat!

2. On the Lot - a reality show for Spielberg wannabes.

3. The Next Best Thing - this is for impersonators. I think this one is lame.

4. Age of Love - this is like The Bachelor but one set of girls are in their 20s and another set in their 40s.

5. Last Comic Standing - for stand up comedians

Those are just examples of Reality TV shows. They do have something in common. Three judges. The good. The bad. The ugly. Originality please....

I have no more shows on TV. I have no one to chat with. I now sleep early.

Oh my pathetic life...

Being Single

Last Monday, my friend texted and asked if she can call me in the office. That's either very good news or very bad news. Turns out, she got engaged over the weekend and she doesn't want to just text or email me to tell me the good news. I was really happy for her. Really! But part of me is not. NO, not because of her but because of me. I will be left alone.

Another similar story in my single life. In high school, we formed a group called SB which means SINGLE BLESSEDNESS. Because we are all singles. And we would choose to be single as long as it takes. I think that was the influence of Mr. Javier in one of his classes in Theology. So, at that time, we all thought that we will not be alone when we grow old. Well, we thought wrong. To date, I think there are only 2 left in the group. Yes, the other one is me. The rest got married. Traitors!! Yes, for me they are!

Why is it great to be single? Let me tell you why:

1. You wouldn't have to share the bed with anyone (this is debatable at this time)

2. You wouldn't have to count your safe days (again, this is debatable)
3. You will have all the pillows to yourself
4. You will have all the time in the world
5. You will have all the money for yourself

Hmm... Well, that's all I can think of. Lame isn't it?

1. You do have a big bed but its not always nice to be sleeping alone (get a dog)
2. You can always count your safe days and wish you do have a reason to count.
3. The pillows cannot take the place of a warm body beside you (get a warm dog)
4. Its not fun doing anything alone
5. This one I like. =)

Thirty years from now, if we have our reunion, I'll be going there ALONE. Maybe I'll have a private nurse. With the money all to myself, I'll make sure that I can afford a hunk of a nurse.

Give me time, I'll be out of this stupor.

Soon....

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

People here say that I have OCD. As far as I know, I don't. You be the judge.

Here are their observations:

1. I have all my files color coded. (this stresses me out since there are only a FEW Stabilo colors available.

2. I have all my reports FILED in chronological order (no its not required. I just want to see them there)

3. All my binder clips are attached in the desk organizer according to sizes.

4. All my office supplies in my drawers (boxes of paper clips, staple wires, pins, etc) are taped at the bottom so it wouldn't move when I open the drawer.

5. My processes are documented and filed per WORKDAY requirement and is clearly labeled.

6. ALL my files are labeled (even personal files like phone bills, cellphone, credit card, etc).

That's just in the office. At home:

1. The dining table should be centered (as in geometrically CENTERED) to the lighting fixture.

2. The accent on the center table in the living room should be at the CENTER of the table. And the center table should be at the CENTER of the living room (in reference to the lighting fixture).

3. All my bathroom stuff should be the same style. If I'll change one, I'll change all.

4. Magazines are filed per MONTH.

5. The silverware should be grouped per kind.

Those are just examples.


So, am I?